Q. I know a lot of people take on each other's last names when they get married, but we're not sure what to do. Neither of us feels good about dropping one of our last names, but at the same time, we'd like our names to reflect our married status. Any ideas?
A. You can go several ways with this one. But the basic idea is to not follow any sort of rule, but to figure out a way that makes both of you happy. So keep your names as they are, or merge them -- it's up to you. By merging names, you could hyphenate the two names into one ("David Ryan-Smith" and "Michael Ryan-Smith") or just stick your partner's surname on at the end of your existing name ("David Ryan Smith" and "Michael Smith Ryan"). If you don't have a marriage certificate, you must get a court order to change your name; the process of contacting government agencies and businesses, and changing personal records, can be lengthy and complicated. Given the legal difficulties of changing your name, it's good to give it some thought and definitely select a name you can both live with for the next 50 years and beyond.